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  • I
    'm
     
    just
     
    like
     
    you
    .
  • For
     
    the
     
    most
     
    part
    , 
    my
     
    life
     
    is
     
    totally
     
    normal
    .
  • - 
    Happy
     
    birthday
    . - 
    No
    !
  • My
     
    dad
     
    was
     
    the
     
    annoyingly
     
    handsome
     
    quarterback
  • who
     
    married
     
    the
     
    hot
     
    valedictorian
    .
  • And
    , 
    no
    , 
    they
     
    didn
    't
     
    peak
     
    in
     
    high
     
    school
    .
  • I
     
    have
     
    a
     
    sister
     
    I
     
    actually
     
    like
    .
  • Not
     
    that
     
    I
    'd
     
    ever
     
    tell
     
    her
     
    that
    .
  • And
     
    last
     
    year
    ,
  • and
     200
    episodes
     
    of
     
    Chopped
     
    ago
    ...
  • she
     
    decided
     
    she
     
    wanted
     
    to
     
    be
     
    a
     
    chef
    .
  • Which
     
    means
     
    we
    're
     
    pretty
     
    much
     
    all
     
    her
     
    test
     
    subjects
     
    now
    .
  • Is
     
    it
     
    spicy
    , 
    Jack
    ?
  • Oh
    ! 
    Gracious
    . 
    Oh
    , 
    my
     
    gosh
    .
  • And
     
    then
     
    there
    's
     
    my
     
    friends
    .
  • Two
     
    of
     
    them
    , 
    I
    've
     
    known
  • since
     
    pretty
     
    much
     
    the
     
    beginning
     
    of
     
    time
    .
  • - 
    Or
     
    at
     
    least
     
    kindergarten
    . - 
    No
    . 
    No
    .
  • - 
    Oh
    ! 
    Sorry
    ! - 
    Okay
    . 
    How
     
    'bout
     
    that
    ?
  • One
     
    of
     
    them
    , 
    I
     
    just
     
    met
     
    a
     
    few
     
    months
     
    ago
    ,

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